Date Rape Scenario

Would you call this rape?

Rob and Sally made a great couple! They had dated throughout the term, but still had that excited feeling whenever they were together. One rainy Oregon Saturday night, they decided to stay home and have a quiet evening together. While Sally built the fire, Rob made some popcorn with plenty of butter. Together they sat by the fire, munching popcorn and watching a great old movie. When the movie finally ended and conversation waned, they began to kiss. Rob and Sally were both getting turned on. After a while of heavy petting, Rob began to take off Sally’s clothes. Sally stopped him and said she was not ready to go all the way just yet. Rob persisted despite Sally’s protests. When Sally pleaded for Rob to stop, Rob replied by saying he was too turned on to stop. Rob went on to have intercourse with Sally while she lay there very quietly and cried.

Does one have an obligation to stop unwanted sexual activities even when he or she is turned on?

Is there ever a time when “no” means “yes” or “maybe”?

The above scenario is an example of date rape; being forced into sexual intercourse by someone the victim is or has been dating. Rob and Sally had been dating for a period of time when she was forced into unwanted sexual intercourse. Date rape is one of the most prevalent forms of rape today and the effects of the rape are very difficult to overcome due to the victim’s prior trust in the perpetrator.

Date rapes can happen anytime from the first date to the third year anniversary and even later. One of the best methods for avoiding date rape is to communicate openly and honestly about sexual wants before the “heat of the moment.”

Myth:

Rapes occur in dark alleys. The rapist is a stranger.

Fact:

Sixty-eight percent of victims know their rapist prior to the attack (husband, boyfriend, relative, acquaintances). One in four rapes takes place in a public area or parking garage. (U.S. Department of Justice, 1994-96).